commentary #2 on kayla's paper

Kayla, I think you did a great job on using ethos, pathos, and logos. You broke every paragraph down out these three main topics and you also gave great definitions of what ethos, pathos, and logos is. This is very important in connecting to the reader that Hitchens actually achieved all three forms in his article. You also did a very good job on your thesis, it was clear and defined on what you were going to be talking about in your paper. It was also very clear that you thought Hitchens had successfully convinced in his article that water boarding is in fact a form of torture and never did you seem that you thought otherwise in your paper. I really liked how you did a summary of “Believe Me It’s Torture” in your second paragraph because not everyone that might be reading your paper read Hitchens article as well. This was a good idea because you let people reading your paper understand what you were writing about, so they got a clearer view in case they had not read Hitchens article or in case they forgot what it was actually about.

Throughout your body paragraphs you achieved your points of ethos, pathos, and logos by using quotes from Hitchens article. You also picked relevant quotes to what you were talking about at the time. You also brought up how Hitchens might not have achieved that water boarding is a form of torture in this part of your essay, “In the midst of a very descriptive paragraph making great use of Pathos, Hitchens admits to having a great fear of drowning that comes from early in his childhood. Some readers might say that this statement makes his argument invalid because of course water boarding would fell like torture to him if he already has a great fear of drowning. Would it feel as much like torture to someone who loved the ocean and had no childhood accident that gave them that irrational fear? Of course it would. Hitchens saves himself when he includes the statement “Not that that makes me special: I don’t know anyone who likes the idea of drowning” (1). This statement puts a stop to the thoughts that make his argument invalid; no one likes the idea of drowning.” This was good point in your paper because you showed where Hitchens may contradict himself, but you shut down that thought through your rebuttal of, “who isn’t scared of drowning?” Overall I think your essay is pretty strong and you achieved all the guidelines you were supposed to meet. GOOD JOB! (: