reflection on ethical paper

I was very happy with my essay after revising it with the help of Mr. Brown’s feedback. I changed a lot of grammar errors to help my essay flow more and make more sense as you read it. I also eased into my thesis much better after revising it from my draft, with the help of Mr. Brown’s revision notes and I think that helped it a lot by giving more information on vivisection before I actually gave my side on the topic. Also, in my second paragraph I gave a too big of word for word quote that took up too much space and was unnecessary so then I paraphrased it, only mentioning the details the reader needed to know. Another thing that I changed that I think greatly help improve my paper was that I mentioned a quote from Darwin in the third paragraph and with the help from Mr. Brown he suggested that I elaborate on the importance of that quote and turn it into a whole separate paragraph, which really helped me prove my argument in my paper. In my second to last paragraph I had information that didn’t really belong in that paragraph so I put it in the previous paragraph and it made way more sense. I also changed how I started out my conclusion because it wasn’t really formal and clear before.